Promise
by grisabele
Summary: A childhood friend of King Albert's copes with loss, change, and promises that couldn't be kept.
1. Chapter 1

**Promise**

**DISCLAIMER: Legend of Dragoon and allthe characters in itbelong to Sony. However, Lady Lasiel and her husband, Sir Arahos, are all mine, baby. :P**

**_"Think of me, please say you'll think of me/Whatever else you choose to do./_**

_**There will never be a day when I won't think of you..."--**Think of Me, from Phantom of the Opera_

_We've been friends since we were five. Ever since King Carlo was murdered, and you became king, and my uncle came to the castle more often, to help look after you. We played together, grew up together...confided in one another. We were the best of friends. _

_Things started changing in the last few years...my uncle arranged a marriage between myself and Sir Arahos, and we saw less of each other, and then Sandora attacked Bale. Albert, it was so noble of you to give yourself up to them so that we wouldn't be hurt, but I was so worried that they'd kill you...that I'd never see you again..._

_But then Emperor Doel was killed, and I'd heard that you had survived. I don't think I've ever been happier._

_You didn't come back to Bale for a long time afterwards, Albert. For a year, I didn't see you, and at first I was worried that I'd never see you again._

_But you're back now. And the world is safe...and I can't wait to see you again._

I turned away from the window as I watched the parade march into Bale. I had been so happy to hear that he'd be returning. But there was...something different about thsis parade. Something I couldn't quite put a finger on.

A coughing fit erupted from my husband's room. He'd been so ill in the last two years...

I hurried to his side. "Lasiel..." he murmured.

"Don't talk, Arahos. Not...not until you can breathe again." He nodded, weakly. It was sad to see him in this state. He was still handsome, yes, but he was a shell of the man he had been before.

Arahos' breathing returned to normal, and he was quiet for several minutes. "I heard trumpets outside...is King Albert back?"

I nodded. "Yes..."

"Will we be able to see him?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"I don't know why you stay with me, Lasiel," Arahos said quietly, changing the subject as he often did.

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't crush my husband by telling him I stayed with him out of a sense of duty, not out of love. Because our marriage was arranged, and because of the war, he had been away often. There had not been time for us to get to know one another, to learn to love one another. Since he had fallen ill, I had gotten to know him a little better, and I like to think that I cared about him...but I did not see Sir Arahos as anything beyond a friend.

I stood up to leave the room.

"Lasiel?"

"Yes?"

He coughed again. I patiently waited for his coughing fit to subside.

"Am I going to die?"

"I don't know," I confessed. Then I left the room. A newer servant girl was standing nearby, looking out the window. I didn't remember her name. As I walked closer to her, she hastily turned around. "My Lady! Forgive me--"

I couldn't help smiling. I told her that there was nothing for her to worry about. It was a fine day to look out the windows, and there was going to be much celebrating when King Albert got situated in his castle again. She asked me if I had needed anything.

"Yes. Please get some water...for Sir Arahos."

She nodded and hurried downstairs, toward the well. I looked back out the window.

It had been so long since I'd seen Albert. I wondered how he was, how his journey had been. I yearned to hear his stories of distant lands...and I wondered if he'd forgotten about me.

_That's impossible. We've been close friends since we were five, _said a voice in the back of my mind.

Suddenly, the servant girl I'd sent to the well rushed back up the stairs. "My Lady, there is a messenger from the King here!"

"Well, did you let him in?" I asked her.

"Oh, forgive me, my Lady...I was so surprised by his arrival that I hurried here to tell you!"

"You silly girl!" I snapped, "Hurry, bring them inside. I'll meet them downstairs."

She nodded and hurried back downstairs. I followed her slowly, wondering what was going on.

When I reached the entrance, the messenger was gaping down at the maid, who was apologizing profusely for her rudeness.

"Please forgive me, sir! I'm such an idiot! I was so flustered by your arrival that--"

I cleared my throat. The messenger turned his gaze to me.

"Lady Lasiel?"

"Yes? What is it?"

"The King wishes to see you as soon as possible."

"Well, why?"

The messenger shrugged. "I gather it is because you two have not seen one another for a while. And, also, he'd like to introduce you to the companions he had on his journey."

I nodded. "As soon as I am ready, I will go."

The messenger looked around. "And your husband? Surely Sir Arahos would want to..." His voice trailed off. "He is not _dying, _is he, my Lady?"

"No...his condition hasn't changed," I assured him, "I'm sure he'll be delighted to go, as well."

_Delighted, _I thought, _But perhaps...perhaps he is too weak to go. But...I can't leave him here alone..._

"Please tell the King that Sir Arahos and I will be arriving as soon as we are ready."

The messenger left, and I was left alone with my servant. "You're really going to take him, my Lady?"

"Yes. I am."

"Begging your pardon, but I don't think he's in any condition to go anywhere."

"Do you think I'm not aware of that?" I asked her, "I know very well how sick my husband is. But...I can't leave him. Not when he's so sick..."

She nodded . "I understand."

Another coughing fit reverberated throughout the house, and she locked eyes with me. "Go to your husband, my Lady. I will be back with the water shortly."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

I hurried to Arahos' room. By now he had stopped coughing. He was sitting up a little bit and his shoulder-length black hair was dishevled. When he heard me enter, he looked up and smiled slightly. "Lasiel...what is it?"

"Are you feeling well enough to walk?"

"If you walk with me," he answered.

"Are...you sure?"

"You give me strength."

How heartbreaking it was to hear him say that. Heartbreaking because he appeared to have become quite attached to me...and I did not love him...not the way he loved me. I walked over to his armoire and selected some of his nicer clothes...a crimson silk shirt and black pants. Arahos had already climbed out of bed and was headed for his armor.

"Arahos, no! Not yet. When you're well again you can wear your armor."

He seemed saddened, but he nodded. "It would be too tiring for me, wouldn't it?"

"Yes..." I said quietly. I walked over to him and helped him dress.

"Are you excited to see King Albert?"

"Of course!" I wouldn't admit to my husband that I felt a strange sense of apprehension, as though something was about to go horribly wrong.

_Maybe this is a bad idea..._

Brushing the feeling aside, I took Arahos's walking stick off of the wall and handed it to him. He smiled slightly, headed for his washstand. He picked up a comb and ran it through his hair, combing away all of the tangles. He lifted up the cloth he used to clean his teeth, and reached for the container of tooth powder. Suddenly, he paused.

"We do have water, Lasiel?"

"I sent that new girl to the well."

"New girl?"

"Yes...about fifteen, red hair...lots of freckles...a bit...oblivious."

"Irial?"

"That must be her," I answered.

"She brings me water quite a lot," Arahos mused, looking out the window and crossing his arms.

For a few agonizing seconds that seemed like hours, we stood there, not speaking, trying to avoid one another's gaze.

"When did Irial say she was coming with the water?" Arahostrying to break the awkward silence.

"She said she'd be up soon...I hope she didn't forget...she's such a scatterbrain..."

"Begging your pardon, my Lady..."

Arahos and I both slowly turned around. Standing in the doorway was Irial, holding a pitcher of water.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know you were—"

"Don't worry yourself about it, my Lady," Irial said softly, handing me the pitcher.

"Thank you, Irial," I said, taking the pitcher. I handed it to Arahos, who smiled and thanked me, then I walked away, toward the door, while Arahos cleaned up and pulled his hair back.

"Don't go," he called, "Please, stay..."

I stopped just short of the door. "I should change, don't you think? I can't go to court wearing my old house dress," I said quietly. Arahos turned around and looked at me. "Yes...that would be a good idea," he said, "I'll wait for you here."

I went to my room and pulled a simple, blue silk dress out of my dresser. I quickly changed, cleaned my teeth, combed my hair, and then went back to Arahos' room. He had finished getting ready, and was straightening the collar on his shirt. When he saw me, he smiled broadly.

"You look lovely," he said, softly. Etiquette dictated that I thank him, but even as the words "Thank you" escaped my lips I could only think: _It is his fever. He is not well, and when he recovers he will see how plain I am and lament that he ever agreed to marry me._

Then I found myself thinking he might actually have been serious, but I quickly put the thought aside. I am not, in any sense of the word, lovely. I am small, yes, and dainty...but I am also very thin. I've never had a "figure", and my hair, though long, is a dull shade of brown. My lips are not full, nor are they thin, and my eyes are brown. Not lovely at all.

As though he could read my thoughts, Arahos gently took a step toward me. He gently tipped my face up, so that he could look directly at me, and, very slowly, he caressed my cheek. His hands were cold, cold enough to make me shiver when he touched me, and he was so _pale. _The dark circles under his eyes seemed more pronounced now that he'd climbed out of bed...but his eyes were what caught my attention. Though he was ill, his green eyes still held a fire...I couldn't explain it. I stared at them. It occured to me that I'd never seen eyes that were quite the same, intense shade of pale green. I noticed that there was a thin ring of blue around the outside of his irises. His eyes were beautiful...why hadn't I noticed that before?

"Why do you doubt yourself?" His voice was barely a whisper. My eyes were still on his, and I was frozen in time. He closed his eyes and gently bent down and kissed my forehead. My breath caught in my throat. He'd never kissed me before, not on the forehead, never on the mouth, not even on my hand...what was going on?

"Thank you for looking after me," he breathed.

I gaped at him for a moment. Then I quickly regained my composure, smiled at him, and tried to think of something to say. "We'd...better get going," I said, finally. I turned around, and started walking out the door. I felt Arahos's hand brush against my skirt. I didn't realize that he had been reaching for my hand until I had left his room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

I did, of course, feel like an abominable human being for brushing off my husband so easily. I tried to rationalize this by reminding myself that, first, my marriage had been _arranged _for me. I did not have the good fortune to marry a man whom I loved. That was a privilege given to the very poor women and, occasionally, the royal women. Women who were the daughters of knights, and thus minor nobility, did not have that privilege. As I stood by the stairs and waited for my husband, I remembered the day that my uncle told me that I was to be married.

_It was a beautiful day, very late in the summer. I remember that the sun was bright in the sky, warming the earth but not making it unbearably hot as it sometimes does that late in the summer. I was sitting in the garden, listening to the birds sing and wishing for a man I loved very dearly to come back from the war. I was twenty-three then, so I had a few years before my being married was a necessity. My uncle, however, was old-fashioned. If a woman was twenty and unmarried, he was convinced that something must be wrong with her. At least, that's what I thought, at first._

_I was sitting in the garden, in the shade of our big old oak tree, listening to birdsong and daydreaming of the man I loved who I knew would marry me after the war. He was a fine man, a good soldier, six years older than me, noble, and even my uncle could not disapprove of him. I had seen him very rarely since he had gone to battle. He was very busy, I knew. If he wasn't at the front, he was at the castle._

_At that particular moment, I was remembering how we'd stolen away to a secluded place in the castle gardens to kiss and hold one another, and to make promises to one another, about the things we'd do after the war._

_**If your uncle will allow it, I'll marry you after the war. **_

_**After the war, I'm going to learn to ride a horse the way you men do it.**_

_**After the war, I'm going to travel all over Endiness.**_

_**After the war, I'll go with you. I'll go with you anywhere even now, if you asked me.**_

_**I'll love you forever, after the war.**_

_My best beloved kissed me after he told me that, and it was at the exact moment that I was remembering what it was like to kiss him that my uncle sat down next to me on the bench and cleared his throat. I looked over at him._

_**Uncle?**_

_He looked older and more careworn than ever before. The dark circles under his eyes were much more pronounced than they had been since the war with Sandora had started. He looked as though he was bearing the weight of the world on his thin, frail, shoulders. My uncle smiled at me, and even his smile looked weary and worn-out._

**_It's a nice day, isn't it, Lasiel?_**

_**Yes.** What else was there to say to him? _

_He smiled again, then his face took on a very serious expression.** There's a war coming, Lasiel.**_

**_I know._**

**_Terrible things happen in wars. If you're a woman..._**

_**What are you getting at, Uncle?** I was hoping that he'd teach me to defend myself with a sword, or at least a bow. _

_**Well...I didn't want to tell you until things were settled for certain, Lasiel, but, with the war looming nearer and nearer...**_

_My uncle paused and looked up at the sky through the leaves of our oak tree. **I want you to live in the castle for a while. You'll be safer there, and I've made arrangements with King Albert. And...and there's something else. I've arranged for you to be married, Lasiel.**_

_My heart stopped. **What?**_

_**I've arranged for you to be married to a young knight. Now, we haven't got all the details worked out, but he's a good, honorable man, and he'll look after you in the event of an invasion...**_

**_Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose he is at the front during an invasion? Suppose he is injured or killed? Suppose--_**

_My uncle shook his head.** Please obey me, Lasiel. Please. Promise me you'll go through with this.**_

Arahos gently rested his hand on my shoulder and took me out of my reverie. "Is...is everything all right?"

I nodded. "I was just...thinking. Remembering."

"Remembering what?"

"My uncle."

Arahos smiled slightly. "He was a good man."

"Yes."

"Do you miss him?"

I paused. My uncle had been the only family I'd had for years and years, but he was seldom around. When he was, he was stern, but gentle...and cold. He was always cold. I realize now that perhaps he felt that he could not become attached to me, because he had suffered enough loss in his life. That was no excuse.

Arahos looked at me with an expectation of an answer. What was one more little white lie?

"I miss him every day." I took Arahos's hand then, and helped him down the stairs and outside.


End file.
